Bad Jokes

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Reading this post may lower your opinion of me.

If you know me, but don't know that I have a juvenile sense of humor, well, then you probably don't know me all that well. My wife likes to say that when it comes to humor, I'm a 12-year old trapped in a man's body.

So, with that to recommend me, here are a few jokes I've made up recently.

1. Here's one you'll never find in Reader's Digest's "Life in These United States":

I knew things were going to be a little crazy when the new test lead stated that he couldn't bring both his testes to the meeting.

"Testes?" I asked with some hesitation.

"Yeah, testes -- you know, the guys who test stuff." He said.

Riiight, those testes. At least now I knew he had two.

2. And now one that you might:

Recently I was out walking my pet weasel, as I do every night. We'd just stopped by our favorite mulberry bush when my neighbor's pet monkey burst through the window. "All around the mulberry bush ..."

3. Now for some vocabulary:

dotcommunist: (noun) A true believer in technology as the solution to every problem.
Sample sentence: "I tried to convince my boss that the problem was with our policies and procedures, but he's a hard-line dotcommunist; now we've got PeopleSoft."

mommunist: (noun) Children who prefer their mother to all other adults including their father.
Sample sentence: "When I walked into the kitchen, the mommunists were clinging to my wife's legs like marxists to a defunct ideology."

It's true -- I think communists are funny. Those wacky Reds! They actually think everyone should just want to share stuff without getting anything for it -- Wait, I think those are parents; communists just want everyone to share the means of production. Oh, well. Whatever. They're both crazy ideas that don't work.

Ba-dump-bump! I'll be here all night.