So my youngest daughter was being kind of nasty today when I got home (She seems to be going through some kind of phase - for details, see my wife's blog.) and it got me to wishing for the Beat-A-Matic 2000.
What's that? You say you've never heard of the Beat-A-Matic 2000?! The handiest parenting device for the lazy parent since television?!
Well, alright - that's probably because it's something I thought up when I first realized that one of my responsibilities as a dad is to be the disciplinarian.
See the trouble with laying down the law and then enforcing it, is that you become the bad guy. And who really wants that? It's certainly not something I imagined when I was thinking of becoming a parent.
*A younger me thinking aloud* "Hmmm... perfect! And then I'll be the bad guy."
In any case, the Beat-A-Matic 2000 solves that problem handily. It's a spanking robot that you keep in your closet. Then, whenever your kids are being bad, you just press a button, and - viola - the Beat-A-Matic 2000 appears magically to discipline your kids. And best of all, you can act as surprised as the kids. "No, Beat-A-Matic, no! Don't beat my children!" Now you're the good guy and your kids still get disciplined.
Ah, the Beat-A-Matic 2000 - it might be my best uninvented invention yet.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I think you named it the Beat-A-Matic (although in my brain, I've always seen it as the Beat-O-Matic, for some reason) back in the year 2000. Is that right?
It would be handy sometimes...If you bite Mommy, the nasty robot will come out...
Sounds very handy. Well said Michael, well said.
Also good for keeping away the creepy family members...stay away or I'll use the Beat-A-Matic on you!!! LoL
Post a Comment