She Was Wearing 27 Dresses, Carrying A Little Black Book, And Trying To Lose A Guy In 10 Days After Attending 3 Weddings And A Funeral Where She Was Always A Princess Bridesmaid And Never The Princess Bride (Nor The Corpse) ...
Have I left any of them out?
Romantic comedies - they're so awesomely formulaic! I just watched one tonight with my wife. And by "watched one with my wife", I mean she chose it, then promptly fell asleep. Which, ironically enough, is how I end up seeing most romantic comedies these days - with the woman of my dreams snoring in my lap while I watch two confused souls:
meet,
fight,
realize they are all wrong for each other,
fall in love,
realize maybe they aren't all wrong for each other (but that they can't tell each other),
have some bad thing happen (usually caused by the man, but sometimes by the woman),
separate on bad terms,
pine for each other (cue the scenes of them at work, visiting former haunts, watching the phone ring, listening to answering machine messages, blah, blah, blah, while staring mournfully into space),
have an epiphany (true, he's a jerk who trashed my name publicly, but we're *meant* for each other),
race to catch the other before they leave, *gasp*, forever (nooo! don't get on that plane, she really does love you!),
joyously, tearfully, tenderly reunite, and then ...
"One Year Later"
get married before a happy party of family and friends who knew they were meant for each other all along and have magically decided to let bygones be bygones.
The brilliance of the formula has inspired me to invent what I am sure will become my legacy - "Microsoft RomantiComeditron XP" - a little piece of software (for Windows only, sorry Linux lovers - no pun intended) that takes two names and automatically generates a brand new romantic comedy. Now we can literally have 10 or 20 new romantic comedies premiering each year ... um, wait a minute ... we *already* have 10 or 20 new romantic comedies premiering each year. (HEY, did someone steal my idea? What's a man got to do to get a legacy around here?!)
What? ... What's that?
Sorry, I've got to go - my wife just told me she could never be married to an insensitive jerk who doesn't love romantic comedies. It's time for me to go pine (cue scenes of me staring mournfully at the computer screen while sad music plays in the background).
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6 comments:
Sometimes a good romantic comedy is all we have.
Uh oh, Amber - are you pining? Do I hear sad music playing in the background?
That was just great!!! *laughing...laughing so hard*
You are a very clever man. Even if you are mocking me with all your cleverness, I still love you.
that was too cute. I would Love to try out your romantic comedy program sometime, though. :D
Between you and me and the viewing public romantic comedies are the destruction of the female race. Not that you wanted my opinion, but you got it anyway.
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